The Courage to be a Dreamer

Zig Ziglar said, “A lot of people have gone farther than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.” 

Grampa was that “someone” for me.  He taught me to have the courage to believe I can accomplish anything I can dream up. 

I made note of that Zig Ziglar quote and how it related to my relationship with my grampa many months ago and came across it as I was searching for things to share with you today.  It’s as fitting now as it has ever been as speaking to you today may be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 

One day back in November of last year, grampa told me about a man he met who was travelling from somewhere farther towards the east coast and going all the way to Missouri on horseback.  Knowing my love and passion for both travel and riding, he had worked out a complete plan on how I could do the same thing.  Travel on horseback, find farm houses or people in towns who would let me stay with them each night, or even sleep under the stars.  There was no question in his mind that I could do it.  The only detail he forgot was I have no way to get the horse. 

That’s just the thing though.  He believed in me.  Always.  He thought I could do anything.  In every adventure, goal, dream, or crazy scheme I came up with, he was always proud and always behind me. 

He was like that with everyone.  He would invest himself in anyone who was willing to learn.  If there’s something you wanted to do or learn, but didn’t know how, he would never turn down the opportunity to work with you.

He taught me to drive the backhoe, blow out the lines in trailers, work on the engine of my old boat, pack wheel bearings, and even redirect a sewer line.  That was the great thing about him.  Even though I was a girl, he never denied me the opportunity to try anything.  He let me try everything I was willing to try.  Truth be told, I never cared about how to move a sewer line and really didn’t care to cut into that nasty thing.  It was more about the opportunity to be with him.

One of the most important nuggets of wisdom grampa ever shared with me was, “You just have to keep on dreaming.”

Grampa had a lot of dreams and adventures in his life.  Those were my favorite stories to hear. 

I think he really enjoyed the fact that I have a kind of wild and free spirit about me and am always up for a new adventure.  The last couple of years, I’ve been extra jam-packing my world with adventures to come back and report to him. 

I’ve flown across the country, gone on backpacking trips, gone hang gliding, ridden horses across the desert, ties sleds to four wheelers, completed a triathlon, and even built a log cabin in my living room.  And through all of it, all I could think was… “I can’t wait to tell grampa about this!”  And in times when I wasn’t sure I could do it, I’d always remind myself that grampa would believe I could.

Over the past few years, because of grampa, I’ve learned the value of having dreams and focusing on making those dreams come true. 

He bought the campground where he and grama have made their home for the past 39 years when it was an absolute pit.  From what I hear, it was a cluttered, filthy disaster.  But he saw so much more.  It took all they had to buy that property and a great deal of struggle at times to keep it, but that was his dream.  He took such great pride in keeping the property beautiful.  Kassidy mentioned the pride they both had in beautifully mowed grass.  She wasn’t kidding.  There was a right way to mow that grass and everyone was aware of it. 

Here’s how great his pride was in maintaining the campground dream and a true testament to how hard of a worker he was.  After one of many stays in the hospital and nursing home, (actually, he might have been living at the nursing home and just at the campground for the day, I can’t really remember)… Anyway, he could barely walk, but he was out with Tyler, Randy and me.  He was telling us how to blow out the lines on the trailers and at one point, Randy had to go down into a wellhouse or something underground.  Grampa was determined to give him directions on how to do whatever it was he was doing so he got down on his knees and leaned deep into the hole Randy was down in.  I remember Tyler and I just looking wide eyed at each other and shrugging our shoulders.  There was nothing anyone was going to do to stop him and I certainly wasn’t about to be the one to try. 

My favorite thing about my grampa was that he never stopped dreaming.  Even in the late part of last year, as his health was continuing to decline, we sat down one day and he was telling me about all sorts of things he would like to do or have done.  Things like having a barn closer to the house, buying a golf cart, gosh I can’t even begin to remember all the things he rattled off.  Even knowing his time was short, he kept thinking about new dreams. 

Grampa was my greatest inspiration and one of the people I love and respect most in my life.  Nothing gave me greater joy than to hear him say he was proud of me.  There are hundreds of little nuggets of wisdom and special memories of precious moments I shared with him that will live forever in my heart.  In every dream I ever have come true, I will be thankful to him for inspiring me to have the courage to be a dreamer. 

Beyond my Bucket List

Dear friends,

I'd like to take a quick moment and thank you for following along with my adventures.  Though I know I haven't met all of you who read this blog, I'm thankful for every one of you.

Last week, I had the opportunity to get to know a fascinating woman.  This is a woman who has achieved great success in her life.  When I first met her, she was speaking to a group I was a part of and I found myself oddly drawn to her.  I couldn't exactly pinpoint why it was, but I made a point of introducing myself to her at the completion of the event.  Not only was her story incredible and inspiring, but there seemed to be something radiating from within her.  Happiness?  Success?  Contentment?  I really didn't know what it was, but I liked her.

She agreed to have coffee with me and impart some wisdom on career paths.  We talked a bit on careers, but quickly discovered we share a love for adventure, travel and new experiences.  The conversation changed gears and we shared some of our favorite experiences as well as a few items from our bucket lists.  I found that she had done some of the things I have not yet checked off my bucket list, so once again, she was inspiring me.  I enjoyed my time with her very much and left considering a lot of my favorite memories and adventures.  

I truly hope each and every one of you has a Bucket List.  I mean a true, written down list that you do everything you can to pursue the dreams on it.  I certainly have mine.  It is an ever evolving list.  There are currently 20 items on my list that have yet to be checked off and, believe me, I'm focused making them all happen.  Little by little, I WILL achieve everything.

There is another list I keep as well and that's the one I want to share with you today.  It is a list of some of the experiences I've had and skills I've learned that I treasure.  Some were crossed off my bucket list, others were more random opportunities.  It's important to remember the things you've accomplished.  Sometimes when I feel like there is still so much I want to do in my life and feel overwhelmed trying to figure out how I am going to manage to do everything, I look back on the things I have done and revel in how much fun I've had.  The list below is a piece of the list I copied and pasted from my personal document.  The grammar is massively inconsistent  so please forgive me.  I just wanted to share some of these things with you and remind you that not every accomplishment or adventure has to be extraordinary, expensive or life-changing.  An adventure is an adventure because it brought you joy and opened your eyes to something new, whether it be great or small.

Things I've Done

Bungee Jumped

Parasailed 

On the field for first NFL game of the season

Climbed the fence at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway

Water-ski

Own & ride motorcycles

Own a boat

Can drive a backhoe

Can drive a bobcat

Can drive a forklift

Got tattoos

Slept on the beach

Barrell Raced in a rodeo in Bandera, TX

Played cowbell in a steel drum band

Traveled to Italy

Swam in Mediterranean

Swam in Gulf of Mexico

Swam in Atlantic

Swam in Pacific

Learned to weld

Hunting

Own a home

Ride a mechanical bull

Drive a houseboat

Clean fish

Clean turtles

Hiked up a mountain for the sunset

Helped deliver a calf

Hang Glide

Participated in a 5K

Rode a painted horse in the Rio Grande

Listen to a Native American Storyteller

Spent time with Grampa in hospital & nursing home & held his hand when I thought I’d lose him right then

Was in a TV commercial

Learned to mountain bike at Women’s mountain biking clinic

Sprint Distance Triathalon

Met Garth Brooks!

Install laminate flooring in a whole house

Put on fireworks show at the lake

Mud Run

Trap shooting

Ziplining

Album release party in Nashville

Built a cabin porch in my living room

Hiked on the Appalachian Trail

Book Review - DREAM MORE by Dolly Parton

I picked up Dolly Parton's new book, Dream More: Celebrating the Dreamer in You the day it came out.  As soon as I got home with it, I got into my most soft, comfy clothes, slipped on some colorful, fuzzy socks and curled up in my bed with too many pillows to count and my three favorite stuffed animals.  Then I opened up the book to begin reading.  I didn't quit reading until I reached the back cover.  Yes, I stayed up and read it cover to cover.  It's not a terribly long book, but I just couldn't put it down.

Dolly has a bit of a unique philosophy on life, dreams, God and happiness.  In this book, she puts it all out there as her philosophy relates to dreams we have in life.  It's a great stocking stuffer and a truly inspirational read.  I highly recommend you pick it up.

The whole book is basically a deeper exploration into the hopes Dolly expressed in her 2009 commencement speech to the graduates of the University of Tennessee.  One thing I love from the speech is at the very beginning she says, "I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes.  Advice, no.  What has worked for me may not work for you."  I love this quote because I am exactly the same way.  I will give you all the information I can and I'm happy to share my experiences with anyone who'll listen.  But to give advice... no so much.

Here are a few of my other favorite quotes from the book and speech:

 "I would certainly rather wear out than rust out.  I hope that I drop dead right onstage one of these days, doing exactly what I want to do.  It might shake the audience up a little bit, but I hope everybody knows that's exactly what I want."

"Happiness is your commitment  appreciating all that is good in life, big and small."

"Learning is really all about experience, how you look at everything you do and draw lessons from what you have done.  If you learn from that and you don't make the same mistakes twice, then not only are you smart, you have what we call "horse sense."

"I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life.  I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain.  I reread passages from my favorite books.  I hold the little treasures that somebody special gave me.  These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world."

"All my life I have walked a fine line.  I'm too bad to be good and too good to be bad.  I also walk a fine line between being gaudy and sexy.  My spirituality and my sensuality seem to be intertwined.  But I'm too cartoonish to ever be a threat to wives or girlfriends."  

Seriously y'all!  Pick it up.  It's a great "feel good" kind of book.

Grampa's Great Escape

On Monday my phone rang and I saw it was the nursing home where my grampa lives.  Of course I immediately had a feeling of concern wash over me, wondering if he was ill or injured or goodness knows what.  To my surprise, the nurse on the other end of the line informed me that grampa told them he was moving back home that day!  She asked me if I knew anything about that or if I could approve it.

For those of you who aren't aware, grampa has been struggling with his health for probably close to two years now.  He is 78 years old and there have been multiple times he has been rushed to the hospital and the doctors have told us he isn't going to make it.  His organs have shut down and are beyond repair (or so we've been told).  He goes between home, nursing homes and hospitals every few months.  His heart has only been able to pump at about 20% for well over a year now.  We've been told time and time again that people with less than 40% often struggle to even carry on a conversation.  Grampa has managed to run the backhoe, lean down into a well house, make his bed, dress and ready himself each day and even walk around WalMart.  Our family as well as the medical staff who have worked with him are fascinated by his strength.

The last time he went into the hospital, the ER doctor pretty much assured us he would not make it through the next few days.  It was basically medically impossible for him to be alive in the condition he was in.  When his regular doctor came in the next morning, I asked him to be direct with me and tell me if we should even attempt to plan where he will go when he gets out of the hospital or if it is likely he will never leave that hospital.  His response was, "If it was anyone else, I would have my doubts.  But (your grampa) has shocked us time and time again and keeps on going."

That was three months ago.  And now, he has built his strength and independence back up to a point where he feels that he could move back home with grama.  It's incredible!

Everything got approved and I went down yesterday morning to pick up grama and take her into town to get everything grampa would need to come home.  Then we went over to the nursing home to get grampa.  It was a precious sight when I opened the door to his room.  All of his belongings were neatly packed in trash bags and laid out on his bed.  He was sitting in his chair just waiting.  He didn't know exactly when we would arrive, but he was ready.  No telling how long he'd been ready.  He was in his recliner, but his feet weren't propped up.  He had his shoes on.  The TV was off.  He was just waiting for this joyous moment he'd looked forward to and worked so hard to get to.  This was his dream come true.

The staff at the nursing home have been such a blessing to grampa and our entire family.  It's always a warm welcome when I go in.  Many of the nurses know me by name, as does the administrator.  They have gone above and beyond time and time again to meet grampa's needs and even do things that are a little extra special for him.  One of the nurses brought a cart down to his room and helped me load his things. The administrator called out to me from several feet away behind a desk with a big smile and a wave.  It was an incredibly joyous time.

As grampa took his small, slow steps with his cane helping him along, he had lots of interactions between his room and the exit.  He talked to, hugged, waved goodbye and thanked everyone in sight.  The nurses, aides, residents and staff.  Looking back on it now, it feels like a movie scene.  That glorious moment when all you've worked so hard for becomes reality.  And there is love and gratitude all around for the folks who've helped you get to where you are.

We all went out to lunch and then headed home.  The whole time, he was talking about all these ideas he had.  Things he wanted to do, things he wanted to buy, how he planned to achieve those things.  I'm in absolute awe of this man who defies all odds and simply never stops dreaming.

Dream More

Dolly Parton is someone I admire in a BIG way.  In fact, she is the only person on my bucket list that I want to meet.  (Garth Brooks used to be on that list, but I got to meet him earlier this year)  In fact, I dream about meeting Dolly fairly often.  Usually in my dreams we are just having coffee or hanging out somewhere and chatting.

I love how open she is and her adorable sense of humor.  You never hear anything mean or judgmental from her.  She really is what she is.  She is unique in a great many ways and that's what makes her wonderful.

This morning I saw a tweet from the Grand Ole Opry that she released a new book today entitled, Dream More.  A more perfect book could not have been released in my opinion.  This is going straight to the top of my reading list.  The second I can get my hands on it, you'll surely be hearing about it!

He Believes In Me

Grampa

I went down to the lake late in the day and visited with Grampa and Grama.  Grampa was in an exceptionally cheery mood today.  He "had his talkers on" as Grama would say.  It seems every time I visit he has seen something or someone really out of the ordinary and tells me, he thinks I could or should do the same thing.  Today's story was about a man on a horse that was "pulled over" by a police officer outside of the restaurant they were eating at earlier in the week.  Apparently this guy was travelling to Missouri on horseback.  He was clean and friendly and had a sleeping bag with him.  That was just the way he was travelling.  When Grampa finished telling me about it, he said, "I told your grandma, if Ashley had a horse she'd be doing that too."  He went on to tell me how I could make it work and find places to sleep.

I realized something after listening to yet another crazy story of something he believes I could or would do.  He is the reason I am the way I am.  He is the reason I dream so big and dare to be adventurous   The first time I remember him flat out telling me to do something crazy was in 2004.  After an extremely harsh breakup with the man I was engaged to at the time, Grampa told me I should go get on my motorcycle and just take a trip by myself.  Just get away for a while.

I didn't end up taking the motorcycle, but I did get in the car and just start driving.  I remember trying to decide if I should head north, south, east or west.  Anyone who knows me wouldn't be surprised to find out that I decided to head south.  About 4 hours into my trip my cell phone rang. It was my mom wanting to know if I wanted to get some lunch.  I told her I couldn't because I was in Terre Haute, Indiana (I lived in the northwest suburbs of Chicago at the time).  She flipped out (of course) and I told her she should talk to Grampa and ask him what I was up to.  :-)

I was on the road for around 5 or 6 days.  I went all sorts of places in 6 different states, including Graceland in Memphis, TN.  It was the first time in my life I'd really done something all on my own.  I remember the day I was supposed to get married.  Instead, I was sitting out on the steps of the run down motel I was staying at in Memphis and smoking a cigarette (yes, I used to be a smoker) and I met two middle aged women and had a great conversation with them that really helped change my perspective.  I don't really remember what they told me, but I remember them and how powerful the experience was of meeting them.

Side note:  My love for Elvis movies was born in that hotel.  Channel 3 had Elvis movies 24 hours a day.  I discovered it very late at night and "Frankie and Johnny" had just started.  I was exhausted, but couldn't turn it off.  I stayed up almost all night watching one movie after another.  

Also on that trip, I remember getting caught very near to a tornado.  I met a family in a restaurant parking lot where I pulled over.  It was the only thing for many miles.  I'm not sure how far it would have been to a town.  The restaurant was in a modular building, so it would provide no safe haven from the storm.  The family was in a pickup truck and was pulling a trailer with a bunch of quads on it.  There were three younger boys riding in the trailer between the quads because there was no room in the cab of the truck.  They were getting pelted with the hail, rain and wind.  I've never again seen a sky like I did that day.  I have some great pictures of it somewhere.  Anyway, I got out of my car and went up to the parents to offer their boys shelter in my car.  I think they thought I was crazy, but they let them get in.  We knew, of course, if the tornado dropped near us we'd have to make a run for the ditch, but at least the boys got out of the storm.  Those boys were soaked, but so thankful to come in out of the storm.  I had beach towels in the car too so they got to dry off a bit.

That whole trip was like a mission to conquer the world for me.  To find my inner strength.  To prove to myself that I could survive just fine on my own.  Grampa believed I could do it.  That was all I needed to believe it too.  This all took place before Grampa and I were as extremely close as we are now.  That was where it all began.

There is a great quote by Zig Ziglar that really hits home for me:

"A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could." 

Grampa was that "someone" for me.  And now I believe I can accomplish anything I can dream up... because I know he would believe I can.