A Peaceful Thanksgiving

Anything involving any part of my family is tends to be an adventure.    Wednesday night (the night before Thanksgiving) I went over to my aunt and uncle’s house to hang out, relax and spend some time with some great family members I don't get to hang out with often enough.  There were a number of places I was invited to spend the holiday at, but theirs was the house I really wanted to be in. 

Over there, it is more than acceptable to be in sweat pants with no makeup on.  It’s ok to grab something from the fridge.  To sample whatever is on the stove.  To chillax and do your own thing.  Basically, you’re free to be you.  There’s a lot of love, compassion and humor in that house.  I couldn't dream of any better place to insert myself for a couple of days.

Wednesday night, two of my female cousins, my aunt and I all settled into the living room for a Duck Dynasty and Couple’s Therapy marathon.  We laughed and laughed and had a great girls’ night.  One cousin and I stayed up a while after everyone else and chatted late into the night.  That was the most precious time I've ever spent with her.  It’s amazing how fast we all grow up and change.  I got to know her as an adult and discovered she is an even more amazing, intelligent and beautiful person than I could have imagined. 

Thanksgiving Day rolled around and I awoke on the couch, so happy to be where I was.  Having been single and living alone for so long, it is wonderful to be inserted into a big family environment every once in a while.  Somewhere there are people and things going on all around me and I'm just one little part of it.  At my house, things are quiet.  The only movement is my own.  There’s nothing to observe.  I rather like it that way on a regular basis.  It’s peaceful to not have to worry or think about anyone or anything other than my little world.  But it absolutely fills me with joy to be amongst loved ones like I was the last couple of days.

My cousin and I flipped Duck Dynasty back on as we peeled potatoes on the couch.  Then I proceeded to nap off and on.  Another cousin held something in front of my face at one point in the morning.  I grabbed hold of a red tube-like device and looked at it for a moment.  Then I looked up at him and asked, “is this a blowgun?”  Indeed it was!  The darts for this thing were ridiculously sharp and looked like very thick needles.  Probably 4-5” in length.  Next thing I knew, I heard “PFFT” followed by the sound of a dart hitting wood.  And another one followed.  Let me tell you, for as fast as those things fly and as deep as they sink into hard wood, I would NOT want to be shot with one.  It was in that moment that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, I was right where I wanted to be.  I know.  Crazy.

Not long after, I began hearing a clicking sound from another room.  I immediately thought, “that sounds like a stun gun.”  A few seconds later, I find out I was right!  One cousin walks out of the room teasing another one with this thing.  And I completely lost it.  Laughing hysterically. 

Amongst the flying blowgun darts, amazing smells from the kitchen, vacuum cleaner running to prepare the house before the meal, people talking to each other from one room to another, I felt completely at peace.  I lay back down on the couch and must’ve fallen back asleep.  The next thing I knew, someone was patting me on the shoulder and I opened my eyes to see my grama leaning over me to say hello.  And I knew it must be nearly time to eat. 

We had an enormous and beyond delicious meal.  I can’t even tell you all the things we passed around.  I can, however, tell you I ate way too much.  It was wonderful. The one cousin who was missing from the holiday is in the Navy and she’s currently in Djibouti (Africa).  We did get to have her with us via Facetime for a short bit which was a great highlight of the day.  We showed her the table with all the food and heard about the meal she’d had as well. 

I took another nap after the meal and later headed up to my other grandma’s house where my mom and dad were.  We spent the evening discussing “Fifty Shades of Grey” and making comparisons between Christian Grey and the men we knew.  Then we debated the extent of Khloe Kardashian's lack of intelligence for a while.  Good times! 

There you have it!  Duck Dynasty, a blowgun, girl time, grandparents, Facetime, and Fifty Shades of Grey.  A perfect Thanksgiving!

He Believes In Me

Grampa

I went down to the lake late in the day and visited with Grampa and Grama.  Grampa was in an exceptionally cheery mood today.  He "had his talkers on" as Grama would say.  It seems every time I visit he has seen something or someone really out of the ordinary and tells me, he thinks I could or should do the same thing.  Today's story was about a man on a horse that was "pulled over" by a police officer outside of the restaurant they were eating at earlier in the week.  Apparently this guy was travelling to Missouri on horseback.  He was clean and friendly and had a sleeping bag with him.  That was just the way he was travelling.  When Grampa finished telling me about it, he said, "I told your grandma, if Ashley had a horse she'd be doing that too."  He went on to tell me how I could make it work and find places to sleep.

I realized something after listening to yet another crazy story of something he believes I could or would do.  He is the reason I am the way I am.  He is the reason I dream so big and dare to be adventurous   The first time I remember him flat out telling me to do something crazy was in 2004.  After an extremely harsh breakup with the man I was engaged to at the time, Grampa told me I should go get on my motorcycle and just take a trip by myself.  Just get away for a while.

I didn't end up taking the motorcycle, but I did get in the car and just start driving.  I remember trying to decide if I should head north, south, east or west.  Anyone who knows me wouldn't be surprised to find out that I decided to head south.  About 4 hours into my trip my cell phone rang. It was my mom wanting to know if I wanted to get some lunch.  I told her I couldn't because I was in Terre Haute, Indiana (I lived in the northwest suburbs of Chicago at the time).  She flipped out (of course) and I told her she should talk to Grampa and ask him what I was up to.  :-)

I was on the road for around 5 or 6 days.  I went all sorts of places in 6 different states, including Graceland in Memphis, TN.  It was the first time in my life I'd really done something all on my own.  I remember the day I was supposed to get married.  Instead, I was sitting out on the steps of the run down motel I was staying at in Memphis and smoking a cigarette (yes, I used to be a smoker) and I met two middle aged women and had a great conversation with them that really helped change my perspective.  I don't really remember what they told me, but I remember them and how powerful the experience was of meeting them.

Side note:  My love for Elvis movies was born in that hotel.  Channel 3 had Elvis movies 24 hours a day.  I discovered it very late at night and "Frankie and Johnny" had just started.  I was exhausted, but couldn't turn it off.  I stayed up almost all night watching one movie after another.  

Also on that trip, I remember getting caught very near to a tornado.  I met a family in a restaurant parking lot where I pulled over.  It was the only thing for many miles.  I'm not sure how far it would have been to a town.  The restaurant was in a modular building, so it would provide no safe haven from the storm.  The family was in a pickup truck and was pulling a trailer with a bunch of quads on it.  There were three younger boys riding in the trailer between the quads because there was no room in the cab of the truck.  They were getting pelted with the hail, rain and wind.  I've never again seen a sky like I did that day.  I have some great pictures of it somewhere.  Anyway, I got out of my car and went up to the parents to offer their boys shelter in my car.  I think they thought I was crazy, but they let them get in.  We knew, of course, if the tornado dropped near us we'd have to make a run for the ditch, but at least the boys got out of the storm.  Those boys were soaked, but so thankful to come in out of the storm.  I had beach towels in the car too so they got to dry off a bit.

That whole trip was like a mission to conquer the world for me.  To find my inner strength.  To prove to myself that I could survive just fine on my own.  Grampa believed I could do it.  That was all I needed to believe it too.  This all took place before Grampa and I were as extremely close as we are now.  That was where it all began.

There is a great quote by Zig Ziglar that really hits home for me:

"A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could." 

Grampa was that "someone" for me.  And now I believe I can accomplish anything I can dream up... because I know he would believe I can.

Spontaneity

I remember having a conversation with my high school boyfriend many years ago about spontaneity.  I said something about how I loved to be spontaneous and he quickly brought me to reality.  I was a planner.  Everything I did was on a minute to minute plan as far in advance as possible.  That always stuck with me.  I knew in the moment it was true and really didn't want it to be.  So when he dumped me, I did the most spontaneous thing I'd ever done.  I got in the car and started driving with no idea where I was going or how long I'd be gone.  Five states and six days later, I had found a love for Elvis Presley and an apartment in a different state.  A week after that, I moved from Illinois to Indiana.  How's that for spontaneous!?

Yesterday, an industry friend of mine and I ran into each other at a networking event.  In the first five minutes of talking, she found a way to tell me she had found super cheap flights to Puerto Rico over the Thanksgiving holiday next week, but didn't have anyone to go with and casually (probably jokingly) asked if I wanted to go.  I considered it for a few seconds, asked a couple of questions and told her to shoot me an email with a few details and to not count me out.

This morning, we emailed back and forth a bit and by noon, I was 100% in!  We haven't confirmed any plans or a location to stay, but if it works out and all comes together, I'm sure it will be incredible!  Not to mention an opportunity to cross three items off my bucket list!

Fingers crossed!

**Follow up note - The trip didn't come together.  It was a heck of a cool idea though!

A Little Bit Loco

This is my buddy, Elton.

I'm really a pretty unique woman.  I got to thinking about that a few weeks ago after my boss asked me to do this little trick where I suck the cherry off the top of my milkshake through the plastic dome lid.  Long story.  Anyway, I obliged and pulled my little trick and he said, "Ashley, you are a weird one, but that's what we like about you!"

I'd have to agree.  I am very much... well... me!  It's not the first time I've been accused of being a little weird, unique, different, etc.  I'm really rather happy about that fact.  The little things that make me who I am are things that make me happy.  I think we all have lots of those little quirks, but many people chose not to show them to the world.  In my case, I put them out there with pride.  In the way I talk, act, the things I do, what I post to social media... and the list goes on.

Highlights of the craziness that is Ashley:

• I take off my shoes when I'm a passenger in the car.  And I forget to put them on until the car is parked and it's time to get out.  I'm always the last one out of the car.
• I crank up the music in my house and put on mini concerts when no one is around.  I'll use any object that's handy as a pretend microphone.
• I've got as dirty & sexual a mind as any man!
• I cry out of love or happiness very easily.
• I sleep with stuffed animals.  One of them even travels with me.  They all have names.  
• I get emotionally attached to inanimate things and sometimes pretend I can hurt their feelings or make them happy.  I know it's silly, but it's true.
• I think old people are the cutest things.  Especially the little old men.  I want to pack them up and take them home when I see them out and about.
• I let my house get to be such a mess I can barely walk through certain rooms and it really doesn't phase me.  Then one day I'll get the itch to clean it up and I will work my butt off to get it spic and span again.
• I'll talk to just about anyone.  Wrong numbers, random people in public, anyone who's willing to talk to me basically.  I've had some great, in-depth conversations with total strangers on countless occasions.  Put me in a busy campground on a nice summer day and I will walk from trailer to trailer just meeting everyone!
• I take the furniture out of my living room at Christmas time to make room for 13 Christmas trees that make up a forest.
• I wiggle my butt when I get excited.  Kind of like a dog wags its tail.

Just call me crazy!

Love, Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing (Christmas Style)

I LOVE decorating my house for Christmas.  Always have.  I can remember the Christmas tree we had when I was growing up.  It was an old school one that had a big pole with color coded holes around it at different heights.  The branches were separate and had a wire the bent down at a 90 degree angle which was painted in colors to match the holes on the upright pole.  You would spend an hour sorting all the branches and trying to discern the blue paint from the green paint on the ends of the branches.  Each color was a different size of branch so you could eventually figure out which were which.  I loved sorting the branches all the way around the dining room, kitchen, living room, hallway... where ever there was some floor space.  Then, with all the love and happiness in the world, I would put the largest branches on first, working from the bottom of the tree all the way up.  

Once they were on, it was time to fluff everything up.  With my arms and fingers getting poked and scratched by the artificial pine needles, I'd sing along to a Christmas cassette or CD (usually Garth Brooks, over and over again).  I'd bend each wire branch into the perfect position.  It would take at least one full day, if not the whole weekend for me to decorate mom and dad's house.  Most things had their place.  Mom had a layout for the Christmas decor, so I went along with it.  It was more about making the house beautiful and magical looking than being creative. It was the warm, fuzzy feeling I got from the season.

About five years ago, I started inheriting more and more Christmas decor from a number of sources (grandparents, parents, etc.).  I had a very large house and was married at that time.  Most everyone was getting to a point where they didn't want to do as much decorating anymore and I was the obvious first choice to call to off load anything they didn't want.  :-)

One day, my Grandma Leavelle asked if I had a theme or a color or anything that I wanted to focus on.  I really hadn't considered that.  I was just collecting whatever I could and finding places to put it all.  I started to search my mind and my heart for what it was that I loved the most and wanted to make the theme of my decor.  I thought about snowmen, silver, blue, angels, Santa Claus, Snow, White, Disney... all kinds of things.  And finally, it hit me.  I remembered how much I loved putting up the tree.  Spending time making it perfect.  Adding lights, garland and ornaments.  And most of all, I loved laying underneath it and looking up at the lights twinkling through the branches.  At mom and dad's house, there was a heat vent in the floor along the back side of the Christmas tree.  I'd lay down under the tree and put a blanket over myself and the vent and have the most warm and cozy place in the house.

That was it!  Trees.  I loved Christmas trees.  When we bought the big house, I got a second Christmas tree to put in a place that just seemed to be the perfect place for a little tree.  The next year, I started to have dreams that many would consider to be crazy.  I dreamed of a "forest" of Christmas trees inside my house!  It would have a little white picket fence and a snow covered ground.  Each tree would have a theme.  There would be snowmen and it would be gorgeous!  

I started measuring and planning and collecting Christmas trees from family members who didn't want to put theirs up anymore.  I bought a couple more when I found them on sale too.  I drilled out some 2x4's to make a base to stand the "fence" up in.  I even grabbed two tree shaped trellises that I had grown clematis on in the summer and wrapped them in lights and green garland to create two more trees.  We moved the furniture to make room for this grand display and I started setting up.

The first year there were seven trees and two snowmen in the forest.  It was stunning.  People thought I was crazy.  I never cared.  It became my favorite place to be.  I'd sit in that room almost every minute I was home.  I'd never turn on the house lights.  The twinkle and glow from the tree lights gave off more than enough light and was the most gorgeous glow.  It filled me with joy, love and peace to be there.

The first year

The next year or two years later (I can't remember which year is which), I would move to a new (much smaller) house after my divorce.  The lack of space wasn't about to take away my forest or dampen my spirit.  I figured out that if I moved the furniture out of the living room and made the forest a little more condensed, I could still fit all the trees in.  With a little re-working, the forest was back!

The first year in the new house

I added birdies decorating the trees that year

This year, I thought it was time to take it to a whole new level.  A level that would make many really worry about my sanity and gain me the title of "Christmas Enthusiast."  At the beginning of October I began working on a secret project.  I posted several things to social media, but would never tell anyone what it was or post anything to give it away.  I worked for over a month on it in every free moment I had.  It was a project all my own.  I took no assistance or advice from anyone.  I was on a mission to conquer the world in a way.  

There were some bumps in the road along the way including electrocution, bumps on head, stubbed toes, cuts, scrapes and a black eye.  It was all part of the experience.  I loved every minute of it.  Even the painful ones.  Go ahead and call me crazy.  You won't be the first or the last.  

In the end, I got it completed and installed and it is amazing.  It's a log cabin facade with a front porch that sits in my living room, among the Christmas trees. 

You Asked For It

Charlie's Bunion in the Smoky Mountains.  A short side hike off the Appalachian Trail.

One day, while listening to my grampa talk about his life and share some of his incredible wisdom with me, he began to speak about dreams.  It was a lesson that will stick with me for the rest of my life.  In short, he told me stories of many of the great things that happened in his life and all the accomplishments he'd had.  Each one related back to a dream.  He would get an idea, an inspiration, a little thought that would become a driving force toward a new adventure.  Something he calls a dream.  I find myself relating to the spirit of a dreamer each and every day.  I have dreams.  Some are big, some small, most a little crazy, and some of them I'm living out right now, but all share one common thread - I have a relentless drive to embark on the adventures to make those dreams come true.

Let's take a step back and look at why you're reading this now...

It's not uncommon for someone to tell me they are amused by my posts to social media.  More than a few people have told me they usually scroll through their news feeds without reading too much, but if they see I've posted they will always stop and read what I have to say.  Others have said they wish there was a reality TV show of my life or at least a blog to elaborate on the events they find amusing.

Today, at the completion of a networking event, I was chatting with a friend who reiterated what many others have said for a long time... I should have a blog.  So in order to indulge the interest of my friends and followers the "Adventures of a Relentless Dreamer" blog has been born.

I don't know if my life is really that interesting or if I'm just more willing to be open about the craziness that exists on a day to day basis, but I'm glad you've decided to join  me on this journey.  I don't make any promises about how interesting or inspirational it will be,  but I hope you will find some amusement in it.